I'm Kinda new to this thing, but lately I have had so much time on my hand that I decided I needed something to keep me busy. I'm used to staying busy; working three jobs, being involved with groups at school, living at the library, overloading on caffeine to cram for tests, trying to make time for dating, friends and fun, etc.
I realized that for the last four years a huge part of my identity was in being a student. Being a student is an excuse to act your age, then they hand you a degree and expect you to have everything figured out. For some that seems to be the case. I'm amazed at how together some people have it.
I have always considered myself a go-getter, but lately I feel like a hamster on the wheel just running in circles. I did everything they said I should to start my job hunt. I went to every job fair that was held at UK. I posted my resume on careerbuilder and monster.com. I have worked since I was 15. My only regret being that I don't have as well rounded of resume as I would like.
At 15 I found my first love...RETAIL!! Mostly the love of the discounts!! Ladies you know what I'm talking about. So, I have worked in retail for the last seven years on and off. I tried other things. Working in daycares and serving, but somehow was always pulled back to the mall. I was able to work in three commission based areas which was good for my pocketbook, but doesn't really mean anything on paper. What I mean by that is that sales jobs don't even consider retail sales, sales. I have never understood that. I don't consider myself just a sales person in a store. I consider myself a brand liason. Once a relationship has been fostered between a customer and I my opinion counts for a lot. Customers make look at brands because of my suggestion that they never had considered before. I love being the matchmaker! I love the feeling I get when I see a woman look in the mirror and think wow I look good. I love being the shot of self-esteem they so desperately need.
But back to the topic at hand. The waiting game. Limbo. Between college and the start of the next chapter of my life. I always assumed that it would be easy. Now I understand why my mom would try to hide the laughter as I dreamed out loud about making fifty grand in my first year out of school. Lately I appreciate my parents wealth of knowledge more than ever. I can look back at my teenage years and laugh at how I thought I knew everything. I want to slap the former self and say WAKE UP, but I can't go back now.
I have had some tough times over the past few months, but I finally feel like the storm is over and I can see the rainbow. Now, if only I could find that pot of gold. lol. I have learned a lot from my mistakes. Not just the obvious ones like dont do that again, but also about who will really be there for me. I realized that life is too short to keep looking back.
There is where my spiritual journey started. I realized that I had to relent control of my life. I had been resisting God's plan for my life for too long. I was in Joseph Beth the other day and overheard a lady say something pretty cool;
"If we were meant to figure out life on our own it wouldn't come with instructions (aka the bible)."
I started attending a great church about five months ago with my family. It has brought us so much closer together. I got involved in their children's ministry and attend a group for post college students on thursday nights. I wish I could say it was an overnight change I experienced, but it wasn't it was gradual. Which is good because in the past I have been known to give others whiplash from my quick decisions from one extreme to the other. Everyday I feel like I am growing closer to God as well. I am calmer, more peaceful, and less anxious about my future.
I want to recommend a book to all you women out there Christian or Non Christian:
The Lies Women Believe And The Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Its easy to read and very eye opening. There is also a workbook to go along with it. My Friend E and I are doing a bible study each week and I encourage you to get a group of girls together to hold each other accountable to reading it and applying it in your lives.
I know this blog has been nothing but ramblings. I can't promise that the next won't be the same way, but if your reading this I hope you come back because my friends have always said that my life should be a reality show. I tend to find myself in silliest of situations with no one to blame but myself and they should make for a good laugh.
I'm off to bed now. I have to get up early again tomorrow and continue my job search. Luckily, I also get to go see Rascal Flatts tommorow night at Rupp Arena with my family and friend K. I will be sure to take lots of pictures and post them. Goodnight.
The Pearl Event 2017
11 months ago